they say question

before you knell

absolution and acceptance is what you gain and feel

but Faust made a deal

because life's a gamble

born clueless

only past experiences to sample

I’ll never know why someone looks up to me

and what they expect of me.

I think I worry so much about trying to be happy,

because I’ll never know what someone else is thinking.

I’ll never know if someone is thinking or feeling the same way as me.

I’ll never really know how much a person likes or dislike me,

or why they want to be around me in the first place.

I’ll never know their first impression of me

or the first thoughts that come to their mind when my name is mentioned.

I’ll never know why relationships change

or know the moment when things stopped being the same.

I’ll never know anything,

but that shouldn’t stop me from trying to feel anything.

i will never understand your happiness

until i discover the purpose of my sadness

I think I will always be mediocre at best

with someone on my back

and attaining only borderline successes

but only in the relative sense

because everything comes with an expense

all actions limited by your personal defense

should you stand under fire

if the outcome you desire

will leave you in the same place.

I just want to be acknowledged & finish.